there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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