I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
