broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
