dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
