My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
