I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
