STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
