So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
