i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
