fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
