lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
he puts the penis in happiness.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Randomize
