I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Randomize
