I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
