This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
