Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
