Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
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