Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Randomize
