I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Randomize
