Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
