Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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