did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
