hotel room ftw
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
