when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
