His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
