I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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