Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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