i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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