The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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