You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
And then my night got REAL pukey
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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