Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Randomize
