i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
