the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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