Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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