Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
This is not my ceiling
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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