Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
