okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
