I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Randomize
