You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
