Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
