Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
