He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
