I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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