But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
