Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I'm like, not good at living.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
