Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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