my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
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