yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Randomize
