the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
My liver just had a heart attack.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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