I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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