i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
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