I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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